I’ve been blown away by the feedback on my final submit. I’m so appreciative of the kindness and assist and all of the concepts so a lot of you have got shared.
I requested myself: why am I so reluctant to do Patreon? Melissa has been telling me to do it for years. And now so many commenters are telling me to do it, too.
The first, most evident purpose is that I’m petrified of rejection. As a author I’m used to being rejected. It’s how writers get higher. But I’m not used to being rejected by you. I really feel like I’ve a a lot nearer relationship with you. If I strive Patreon and it doesn’t work, I’d really feel dumb. Like I assumed you want me however you don’t truly actually like me.
Also, I really feel ashamed. I really feel most ashamed that my mother and father aren’t serving to me as a result of I feel everybody will assume, “If her parents won’t help her then she’s not worth helping.”
One of the individuals within the feedback – the one who everybody ripped aside – jogged my memory of the recommendation I gave her: “Pick yourself up and move on, your kids need you.”
It harm to learn that. And I’ve to confess I used to be blissful that everybody informed her to close up. But because the day wore on, I began to love that recommendation. Which might be why I gave it to her within the first place. I’ve to determine the best way to preserve doing what’s greatest for the youngsters.
So, I’ve to do Patreon as a result of I can’t spend my life nonetheless seeing myself by means of my mother and father’ eyes. I hate even having to put in writing that. I’m too outdated.
The different factor I discovered from studying the feedback is that I’m so much like Britney Spears. I’m good at incomes cash however not at managing my life. It seems to be prefer it’s simply cash that I can’t handle, however actually it’s all the things. I’ve a very, very arduous time getting by means of a day like a standard individual. Someone stated that the instances I’ve been functioning greatest is when I’ve somebody there holding me grounded. And they’re proper.
Quite a lot of my life I’ve had an assistant. If you’re good at work, then work comes with an assistant. Well, that’s what I used to assume – that I had an assistant on a regular basis as a result of I’m so good at work. I used to assume buyers alway paid for my assistant as a result of I’m so priceless. Then I noticed they pay for an assistant so I don’t do issues like have my automobile break down in the midst of an intersection and get the youngsters out of the backseat and stroll dwelling after which disappear for every week attempting to get my automobile again. I did that after. But it was not every week — it was solely three hours as a result of I had an assistant who known as me and figured all the things out.
When I stopped working 100-hour weeks my assistant disappeared together with my job. I assumed that might be high-quality as a result of I used to be transferring to the farm. But I didn’t notice the farmer had no intention of serving to with childcare.
So I needed to rent an assistant. And then the boys wanted to go in all places and the assistant didn’t need to do all of the driving, so I employed a driver after which I principally had two assistants. The solely approach I transitioned from two assistants to zero assistants in Swarthmore is I informed myself that is non permanent.
The boys are used to having me and one different individual run the household. I feel the youngsters know life runs higher when there’s somebody with us. The children don’t anticipate that individual to be a father — as a result of clearly I’m not good at choosing that type of man. But the youngsters do anticipate the individual to be an assistant. They’ve spent most of their life seeing me with an assistant. My children really feel comforted by employed competence.
So, I’m going to rent a full-time assistant to handle my life and my funds. I’ve had such a individual earlier than. I understand how to do it.
Just penning this makes me so blissful. My cellphone service will get turned off on a regular basis as a result of I overlook to pay the invoice. I don’t get our prescriptions refilled on time; typically I spend all month worrying in regards to the prescriptions and we nonetheless go days with out drugs. Having an assistant again in my life will give me a lot peace.
One of the most important boundaries to getting somebody to assist me is that I don’t have a gradual earnings. Money is available in waves, which isn’t useful for making life extra steady. In the previous, my startups have paid for the assistants so that they don’t endure from my loopy money stream.
So, right here’s my plan:
I do Patreon and I exploit the funds from Patreon to rent the assistant who will then handle the funds from Patreon and likewise the remainder of my life. Melissa has constructed an empire by being the god of hiring assistants. She’ll rent mine.
She hires for startup founders who can’t tie their footwear. I pine for the times once I was merely a startup founder who couldn’t tie my footwear. Now it’s my footwear, and the youngsters’ footwear, and it appears like there are 50 million different pairs of footwear as effectively, though I do know there aren’t.
Get it? Not? Knot? For shoe tying?
I’m displaying you ways arduous it’s for me to deal with logistics sufficient even to get this submit completed.
What I need to do is write. If Patreon could make my earnings steady, then I can clear up most of my issues. I can nonetheless do the issues I love to do – profession teaching and character kind stuff. But that’s not constant earnings — and I’ve come to phrases with the truth that if I need to create consistency in my life, I would like to vary.
You have all helped me acknowledge that having an assistant shouldn’t be a luxurious for me. And now I can see extra clearly that asking for assistance is OK.
So right here’s the link to my Patreon. I had a lot enjoyable placing Patreon collectively. I hope you prefer it.
When we went to my son’s piano trainer to say goodbye everybody was so unhappy. My son and the piano trainer are so shut. The trainer stated to me, “He’s very lucky. You’re an amazing parent to have gotten him here with no help. My parents didn’t do that for me.”
I would like to carry that image of myself in my head. My mother and father didn’t do this for me, both, which is why I a lot need to have the ability to give each my children what they want. What my children want now could be stability, and I’m getting that by asking for assist from an assistant, sure, however actually, from all of you.